Insecurities
by lilmm
Summary: "Blaine doesn't think I'm sexy." Burt blinked in surprise. This was definitely not the conversation he was expecting to have this morning.


**I started this just after Hold On to Sixteen and then just sat on it cause I wasn't sure about the ending. Actually I completely forgot about it until my internet went down tonight and I decided to read through my unposted WIPs in an attempt to be somewhat productive. I kinda like it.**

**I don't own Glee.**

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><p>"Kurt, what the hell're you doing down here at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday?" Burt asked, clomping down the stairs into their unfinished basement. Well, partially unfinished. Kurt had sectioned off certain areas as an informal "lounge", a painfully organized storage space and a miniature gym complete with an elliptical, a full set of weights and yoga mats for each member of the family, though only Kurt and Carole used theirs. Kurt, wearing some sort of leotard thing, was doing crunches on one of those big blow-up balls and had clearly been at it for a while.<p>

"I'm working out. Some of my dance moves were severely lacking in polish at Sectionals and I have to get into better shape if I'm going to have a chance at not embarrassing myself at Regionals."

Kurt barely stopped for breath as he spoke, attacking the exercise like something might kill him if he stopped. Burt rubbed his face in an attempt to wake himself up more and padded over to the bench press; he had a feeling he'd want to be sitting down for whatever this conversation was going to turn into.

"All right. So what's really going on?"

"Who said anything was going on?" Kurt asked, voice breathless with exertion and high with nerves.

"Don't lie to me, buddy, I think I know by now when something's up with you. Spill."

Kurt huffed and sat up on the ball. Wordlessly, he motioned for the water bottle Burt only now noticed on the floor near his feet. When he'd taken a far longer drink than he probably needed, Kurt met Burt's eyes and took a deep breath.

"Dad. I-" Kurt sighed and shook his head. "You don't want to know."

"Try me," Burt said. He loved his son but he hated these games the kid liked to play.

"Dad-"

"Hey, I can't help you if I don't know what's going on. I'm not a mind-reader, Kurt."

"Fine. Blaine doesn't think I'm sexy."

Burt blinked in surprise. This was definitely not the conversation he was expecting to have this morning.

"Um."

"I mean, we like spending time together, and singing together, and everything's perfect but I can just feel him slipping away from me and I don't think I could handle losing him too. Not on top of everything else. I'm already not going to get into NYADA and in my stupid rush of over-confidence I didn't even bother _looking_ at other schools and now all the application deadlines have passed and I can just see myself wearing awful khakis and a barista apron while Blaine goes off somewhere fabulous with another guy and I'm stuck here alone forever."

Burt blinked again and wished he had sneaked a coffee before coming down here. There was way too much to unpack in that little speech this early in the morning.

"All right. Slow down. What makes you think you're not getting into NYADA?" Might as well go for the easy question first.

"Dad, I sent in a practically empty application form. Everyone else I'm competing with already has stage credits and extracurricular activities up to their noses and I've got nothing."

"Yeah, you've been doing a whole lot of nothing these past few years."

"You know what I mean," Kurt huffed, taking another sip of his water.

"It's an arts school, right? That means they'll probably have auditions or something, won't they?"

"I guess."

"So knock their socks off at the audition. You're talented, Kurt, and you know it. Don't let a couple of rejections stop you from going after what you want. You'll get a hell of a lot more no's than you will yes's, especially when you're first starting out. You know that."

"I guess."

"Then stop stressing out about it so much. You haven't been rejected until you're holding the letter in your hand."

"I suppose so."

"Damn right. Besides, worst case scenario you take a year off to work and figure out more options or go to community college for a while and transfer somewhere bigger later. None of this means it's the end of your life, got it?"

Kurt smiled dimly, the corners of his mouth turning up a fraction. Burt counted it as a success. And now for the hard part.

"So what's all this about Blaine? Did he say something to you?"

"No."

"Then where's all this 'I'm not worthy' crap coming from?"

Kurt sighed. "Blaine doesn't look at me the way other guys look at their girlfriends."

Burt furrowed his brow. "First off, you're not his girlfriend so I don't see how that's a bad thing. And I've seen the way he looks at you. As far as I can tell, there's nothing wrong there." The looks seemed a little too intense for a couple of teenagers, but he hadn't had any warning bells go off.

"But there's no heat. No sex. Just… Blaine. Which should be enough, but it isn't. I'm just afraid he'll get bored with me and want to go off with someone more experienced."

"Blaine's not pressuring you into anything, is he?" Burt asked, prepared to punch the kid's lights out if he needed to, congressional seat be damned.

"No! No, that's not the problem." Kurt said, almost rising off the ball. "Blaine's a gentleman. Too much of a gentleman," he muttered.

Kurt wouldn't quite meet Burt's eyes as he spoke and Burt got the hint. He'd really hoped he wouldn't have to have this conversation with Kurt again so soon.

"You want to have sex with him."

Kurt blushed but looked away in the way he did when he didn't want to say something. Shit.

"You two have already had sex."

Kurt's face flamed a deeper red, but he nodded once tightly and tried to avoid Burt's eyes even more. Burt rubbed a hand over his head and sighed.

"You okay? You guys were safe at least, right?"

"Yeah, dad. We were safe."

"Okay," Burt breathed. So his son wasn't such a baby anymore. That was fine. It was going to happen eventually.

"Dad. Is it possible to stop caring about sex after you've had it?"

Burt really didn't want to be having this conversation. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you said once I started having it I wouldn't want to stop, and I don't, but… Blaine doesn't seem as interested anymore. Does that mean I'm bad in bed, or am I just not sexy at all?"

"Hey, everybody's first time sucks to some degree. That's what happens when you don't know what you're doing. I'm not thrilled you two have gone so far already, but I was a teenage guy once too. I get it. I'm sure if you just talk to him about it he'll get over anything that was weird or-"

"That's not the problem."

Oh.

Burt really, really didn't want to know these things.

He took a deep breath. "Okay. Then what is the problem?"

"There's this – _guy_," Kurt said as though he really wanted to call him something else. "He's slick and rich and experienced and he's set his sights on Blaine and there's nothing I can do about it because every time I try to stake my claim on Blaine something goes wrong and I end up looking like an idiot."

Ah. He'd almost have preferred the sex talk.

"Is Blaine interested in this guy?"

"He thinks he's just a friend."

"So what's the big deal?"

"He thought the two of _us_ were 'just' friends. What if he has an epiphany about Sebastian the way he did with me and decides he likes him better?"

Burt so did not envy Kurt his teenage drama.

"Look, Kurt, you're both young, and you can't control what'll happen in the future, but I can tell you that Blaine is head over heels for you. I see it every time he looks at you when he's over here. He gets this dopey enamored look on his face when he thinks you're not watching. It's actually kind of cute. _Not that I said that_," he elaborated when Kurt grinned at him. "I'm not gonna approve just on the sheer principle that he's your boyfriend and I don't like the idea of what you two have gotten up to, but he's a good kid. I don't think you've got anything to worry about. Certainly nothing worth getting up this stupid early in the morning to work out for."

Kurt laughed lightly and bowed his head. "You really think I'm overreacting?"

"Yeah. I do. Maybe if you could stop freaking out about everything so much you might be able to concentrate on what you've got instead of what you might not have months down the line."

Kurt smiled sweetly at him and Burt knew what he'd said had gotten through.

"Thanks, dad."

Burt smiled at him, drinking in the sight of his son while he still could. "You're welcome. Now get your butt upstairs and help me make breakfast."

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think!<strong>


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